


Carry On, Love Is Coming

by DragonGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And By God They Are Gonna Get Them, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel and Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fix-It, Fluff, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28582704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGirl/pseuds/DragonGirl
Summary: The entire drive from the bunker to Hastings passed by in a haze.  Obviously at some point he’d picked himself up off the floor and gotten in the car, but if you’d asked Dean for more detail, he wouldn’t have been able to give it.  All he knew for sure was that at one point he was sitting on the floor of the dungeon, and some time later he was pulling over on an abandoned street in Minnesota.~My take on a fix-it for episodes 15x19 and 15x20 because the Team Free Will 2.0 deserves to be happy and together instead of whatever the heck that was.
Relationships: Background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 114





	Carry On, Love Is Coming

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song Carry On by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young

The entire drive from the bunker to Hastings passed by in a haze.Obviously at some point he’d picked himself up off the floor and gotten in the car, but if you’d asked Dean for more detail, he wouldn’t have been able to give it.All he knew for sure was that at one point he was sitting on the floor of the dungeon, and some time later he was pulling over on an abandoned street in Minnesota. 

Sam and Jack were waiting for him in the middle of the empty street when he climbed out of the car.The first people he’d seen since…

“Everyone’s gone,” Sam whispered, shock and horror coloring his tone.“You see anybody on the way here?”

“No.”To be honest, the complete and utter lack of anyone else on the road was probably the only reason he made it to Hastings in one piece.

“I couldn’t save anybody…” Sam shook his head.“Billie…”

“It wasn’t Billie,” Dean cut in.“It was Chuck.”

Sam tilted his head.“What?”

“Where’s Cas?”

Jack’s question cut through the conversation like a knife.

Dean barely repressed the urge to flinch.There it was.Dean had been dreading this, but there was no escaping Jack’s inquisitive stare.

Sam looked back at Jack and then behind Dean, as if he was only now noticing Cas’s absence.“Dean?” he asked tentatively.

Dean paused.He couldn’t do this.He could see Jack growing more concerned by the second and he couldn’t be the one to shatter the kid like that.But he deserved to know, they both did.Cas had been their family too. 

“He saved me,” he finally settled on.“Billie was coming after us and Cas summoned the Empty.It took her… and it took him.Cas is… Cas is gone.”

Dean said all of this while maintaining steady eye contact with Sam.He might be the one who had to deliver the news, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold it together if he saw Jack’s reaction.

He still saw the utter devastation that overtook Jack’s face out of the corner of his eye.

Dean had endured all sorts of physical injury throughout his life, he’d broken bones, been stabbed, hell he’d even been tortured in Hell itself.None of those things hurt half as much as Jack’s choked off cry.

Sam however, hadn’t noticed Jack, or even register much of what Dean had said.He was obviously rattled, his breath was coming out in short gasps.“T-this can’t be happening,” he stuttered out.

“It is, Sam.I think everyone’s gone.”

Sam shook his head, frantically patting his jacket pockets until he located his phone.He pulled the device out and started walking down the abandoned street as he brought it to his ear.

Now that he no longer had the excuse of talking with Sam, Dean had no other choice but to bite the bullet and face Jack.

Jack’s eyes were welling up with tears.

“Jack, I... I’m sorry.”Dean reached out to place a hand on Jack’s shoulder, but the kid ducked out of the way and took off running down the street.

“I tried Jody,” Sam suddenly cut in as he rejoined Dean, still scrolling through his phone.“But she didn’t—wait where’s Jack?”

“I fucked up, Sam,” Dean sighed.

“Dean, what happened?”

“It’s my fault Cas isn’t here and now Jack’s... taking it about as well as you’d expect.”

Sam’s face went through a complicated series of emotions, before it eventually settled on something dar too close to pity for Dean’s liking.“You want me to go talk to him?”

“Nah, I should be the one to… You know since I…” Dean trailed off, but the meaning behind his half-voiced thoughts was clear.

Sam nodded.“I’ll just be inside, then.” He gestured behind him towards the diner.“I can try calling some more people in our contacts.Come find me when you’re done I guess?”

Dean turned and walked in the direction that Jack had run off in.The sidewalk in front of the diner was dotted with planters, each filled with dried and withered flowers and greenery. Dean paused, turning back to take another look at the planters behind him on the other side of the diner’s entrance.The flowers in those planters were perfectly healthy, not a dying petal in sight.Something had wiped out the plants along this specific stretch of sidewalk, and Dean had a sneaking suspicion he knew who the culprit was.

And at the end of the trail of withered vegetation was—as Dean suspected—Jack.He’d found a bench a block away from the diner and was curled up on it, hugging his knees to his chest with his head hung low.The state of the plants around Jack was certainly concerning, but it was just another drop in the bucket of Shit Dean Wasn’t Equipped To Deal With Right Now.But a kid, _Jack_ , alone and crying on a bench? That was something he could fix.

“Hey, kid,” Dean said softly.Jack flinched violently; his head whipped up and his grip on his knees tightened.Jack’s eyes were red rimmed and the knees of his jeans were damp, but in that moment he looked genuinely terrified.“You mind if I sit here?” Dean asked gently as he slowly approached the bench.

Jack didn’t agree, but he also didn’t say no.He just silently stared at Dean with wide eyes.It was probably safe to sit, so Dean slowly eased himself down onto the bench.Dean didn’t say anything at first, just watched Jack slowly curl back in on himself as the silence dragged on.

Eventually the silence became unbearable though.“Listen Jack,” Dean began slowly.“I know you’re upset but—“

“Upset?” Jack cut in, straightening back up.“Of course I’m upset!It’s my fault he’s dead!”

Dean blinked.Looking back, he could vaguely recall Cas mentioning Jack, but he’d been too preoccupied with their impending doom at that moment to remember the specifics.“What—“

But Jack was no longer listening to him.“It’s all my fault,” he repeated, hands flying up to grip his hair.“I was so stupid—You warned me not to trust Lucifer but I didn’t listen.And I’m the reason the Empty even wanted Castiel to begin with.None of this would be happening if I’d just never been born.”

“Woah there, Jack.” Dean reached out to lay a hand on Jack’s shoulder, but Jack flinched back again. 

“And I keep trying to fix it but I keep _failing,_ ” Jack cried out, still barreling forward.“Castiel… Mary… They’re both gone because of me; you keep losing family because of _me_.And I thought that sacrificing myself, freeing you from Chuck’s influence, would maybe start to make up for everything I took from you, but I couldn’t even _die_ right.”

“…Jack.”

Jack took a shaky breath.“So I know you probably don’t want me around right now but I need to fix this.But once we defeat Chuck… I won’t… I’ll do whatever you want.I can leave, go so far away that you never even have to think about me.You can even kill me if you want, I won’t put up a fight.I won’t deny you vengeance against the monster that keeps killing your family.”

There was something familiar about the way Jack was holding himself, posture rigid and refusing to meet Dean’s eyes.It reminded him of when he was a kid, bracing himself for his father’s anger and disappointment after he’d fucked up.

…Which was exactly what Jack was doing too.

The realization was like a punch to the gut. 

It was easy to forget just how young Jack was.He’d only been alive for three years now and while he may look older, he was still just a kid.A kid desperately trying to win the approval of his father.Because that’s what he was.Jack had claimed Cas as his father from the beginning, but it was obvious that Jack thought of both him and Sam as parental figures too. 

…And when Dean thought about it, he kinda was Jack’s father.He’d taken the kid out fishing and taught him how to drive, things he’d done with his own dad when he was young.If he were being completely honest, he’d thought of Jack as his own kid before Jack had lost his soul and, as conflicted as he’d felt after what happened with Mom, he’d never actually stopped thinking of him as his kid.

But he’d never been good at communicating his emotions, so Jack didn’t know that.

“Dammit Jack,” Dean growled.“ _You’re_ family too.”He reached out again, this time to pull Jack towards him.Jack’s position on the bench made things a little awkward, but eventually Dean was able to wrap his arms around the kid.

“B-but you said—“

“Yeah, well, I was lying.To Sam and myself.”Dean squeezed Jack a little tighter before pulling back to look him in the eye.“You’re just as much family as Sam and Cas.”

“Really?”Jack squinted at him, scanning Dean’s face for any hints of deception.

“Hey, you wanna know something?” Dean asked. 

Jack nodded.

“Have I ever told you about the time Cas went dark side?” 

Jack’s head jerked back.“He what?When?”

“Years before you were born.”Dean waved his hand dismissively.“I’d only known Cas for a couple of years at that point, but, long story short, there was a war in Heaven and he did some shady shit to win it.Allied with the King of Hell—who was a massive douche mind you—and messed up Sam’s head pretty bad.And that was all before he sucked up all the souls in Purgatory, declared himself the new God, and went on a power trip.”

Jack just stared at him, apparently shocked into silence.

“As I said, it was years ago.But the point is, he did some real bad things, hell, Sam almost _died_ because of what Cas did to his head.And I was pissed as hell.Even tried to sic Death himself on him.”

“I… I had no idea,” Jack breathed out.“About any of this.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded.“‘cause we worked past it.And it was hard.Some days we’d take one step forward and two steps back, but eventually we patched things up between us.”

A small smile spread across Jack’s face.“Because you loved each other.”

Dean froze.

_I love you._

Cas’s damning words rang in Dean’s ears.He’d been trying to hold it together for Jack’s sake, but the kid’s words hit Dean like a physical blow.Cas had loved him.And apparently Cas’s feelings had been so damn obvious that even _Jack_ had picked up on it.Had everyone known but him?How could he have missed the signs?

The smile slowly slid from Jack’s face.“Dean?” he asked, tentatively.His eyes widened.“Oh…”

He wasn’t ready to have this conversation yet. 

“We should go.” Dean roughly pushed himself up off the bench.“Sam’s waiting for us inside.” 

“Dean, wait, I—“

Dean stopped.

There was a long pause. “We’ll find a way to get him back.” Jack finally said.

Dean sighed and looked over his shoulder. “I wish I had that kind of faith, kid.”

~~~

Sam didn’t acknowledge their presence when they entered the diner.Dean silently sat down next to him at the counter.Sam was staring blankly at his phone, left open on his last text conversation with Eileen.

“So… what’s the plan?” Jack asked as he slid onto the seat on Sam’s other side. 

Sam didn’t look up from his phone.“I… I don’t know,” he whispered.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Jack looked distressed.“There’s got to be something we can do.”

Sam shook his head.“Not this time.”His grip on his phone tightened.“We lost.”

“Kid’s right,” Dean cut in.“There’s gotta be something.”They’d been through so much over the course of their lives, but they always found a way to get through it.So for Sam to just give up now…It didn’t sit right with Dean.

“What can we do, Dean?” Sam finally lifted his gaze from his phone to look at him.“He’s _God_.We never stood a chance.”

“What about the binding spell?Now that Chuck and Amara merged, we can lock them both up and avoid the monster problem.”

“Dean, what monster problem?” Sam cut in.“ _Everything’s_ gone, not just the people.I haven’t seen a single animal and I’ll bet all the monsters are gone too.”Sam sighed.“Besides, even if we did lock Chuck away, it wouldn’t bring everyone back.It would just be the three of us, all alone in the world, until we died.”

Dean paused.Sam was right.They were in over their heads and this wasn’t a problem that could be fixed just by ganking the bad guy.He slumped in his seat.“So that’s it then?We give up?”

“What—no!” Jack cried out.“You can’t just give up!”He frantically looked back and forth between Sam and Dean.Dean kept his gaze fixed on the counter.“…You said we’d find another way,” Jack finally whispered.

“I just don’t think there is one anymore, Jack,” Sam sighed.“The only thing we can do now is what Chuck wants, and then maybe he’ll bring everyone back.”

“No—“

“Jack.”Jack froze, eyes darting over to Dean.“If we do what he wants”—Dean took a deep breath and slowly let it out—“he could bring Cas back.”

Jack shook his head.“N-No,” he stuttered.“Don’t… Don’t make me choose like that.That’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is sitting by and doing nothing while Chuck holds all of creation hostage,”Sam pointed out.

“There has to be something—“

“I’m sorry Jack,” Dean cut in.His mind was made up.If there was even a chance of getting their family back—of getting _Cas_ back—he was going to take it.And if the cost was his life, well, that was a pretty small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.

Dean looked behind him, out the window.The sun was starting to set.Somehow night had fallen while they’d been talking.He sighed.“No use delaying the inevitable, I guess,”he said, pushing back from the counter.The stool slid across the tile with a loud shriek.

Jack was silent.

“Jack,” Dean placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder.“I’m sorry it came to this.”

Tears welled up in Jack’s eyes and he threw himself at Dean, as if he believed that holding on for dear life would hold off what was to come.Dean hugged him back, just for a moment before he pulled away. 

Sam moved in to hug Jack as well.“You stay here, ok?” Sam said as he pulled back.“I don’t think Chuck has any actual beef with you but I don’t want to take any chances.”

Jack looked down at the floor, but he didn’t argue.

Any ideas on how to get his attention?” Sam asked looking up at the sky as they turned to exit the diner.

Dean stepped outside and cupped his hands around his mouth.“HEY CHUCK!” he called out towards the sky.Sam winced.“YOU WANTED OUR ATTENTION AND NOW YOU GOT IT SO GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!”

“I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”Dean jumped and whirled around to face Chuck.He was leaning against a nearby wall.“I thought I’d have to wait at least a few weeks.”

“Cut the crap, Chuck,” Dean growled.

“Chuck.” Sam shouldered his way in front of Dean.“We’ve come to make a deal.”

Chuck raised an eyebrow.“A deal,” he laughed.“This should be interesting.”

“We’ll do it,” Sam said.“The whole Cain and Abel thing, whatever you want.As long as you bring everyone back.Eileen, Jody, Bobby, Charlie.Everyone.”

“And Cas too, you bastard,” Dean growled, moving to stand next to Sam.

“Bring back Castiel?” Chuck laughed.His eyes landed on the shoulder of Dean’s jacket, where Cas’s bloody handprint still stained the fabric.“He wanted his free will so badly and this is what he’s done with it?Sacrificed himself once more in the name of Dean Winchester, only to have to be for nothing.So no, I don’t think I will.Let him be just another name on the long list of people you’ve failed to save.Along with the rest of creation.”

Sam blanched.“B-but you can’t do that!” he sputtered.

“Can’t do that?” Chuck threw his arms out.“I’m not sure if you’ve forgotten, but I’m _God_.I created _all_ of this; I can destroy it if I want to.And besides, this isn’t even the first time I’ve wiped out humanity on a large scale.Ever heard of the Great Flood?The Plague?”

“But we’re offering you whatever you want.How can you just turn that down?”

Chuck tilted his head to the side.“And what if what I want is to watch you suffer?” he asked.Sam took half a step back and Chuck laughed.“You Winchesters have been a royal pain in my side for years now.The failed Apocalypse was just the beginning.So tell me.Why would I grant you the _mercy_ of dying in a heroic sacrifice to save the world?”

“B-but—“

“No,” Chuck continued, completely ignoring Sam’s protests.“I’d much rather leave you here, in an empty world, and watch you live with the knowledge that you destroyed it.For all eternity.”

Sam blanched.“For all eternity?” he choked out.

“Like I said,” Chuck grinned, his features twisting into something cruel and merciless, the picture of the God of the Old Testament.“I’m _God_.Now that Death is out of the picture, I can keep you alive for as long as I want.”

“Chuck, wait, no.” Sam took a step forward.“Don’t do this,” he begged.But Sam was talking to the empty air now.

Chuck was gone.

They’d failed. 

And they were all alone.

~~~

Time passed in a blur after that.Days, weeks, months, Dean couldn’t tell how long it had been.Wasn’t much point in keeping track of those sorts of things anymore.Each day followed the same routine: wake up, get drunk, eventually pass out, rinse, repeat.

But everything changed one morning, while Dean was nursing a killer hangover.Jack burst into the kitchen, looking frantic.

“There’s someone out there.Besides us.I can sense them.”

~~~

When the someone Jack sensed turned out to be Michael, who had his own beef with Chuck that he wanted to settle…Well, suddenly things seemed a little less bleak.

~~~

The archangel blade fell to the ground with a clatter.Michael stared down at where Lucifer had been standing mere moments before. 

“I have to go,” he announced and, with a rustle of feathers, Michael disappeared.

“…So am I the only one who doesn’t trust him as far as I can throw him?” Dean asked after a moment of silence.

Sam nodded his head.“Yeah, no, that was super suspicious.”He bent down and picked up the fallen book. 

“Also what happened to Lucifer’s body?”Dean asked.“Last time we killed him, he definitely left behind a body.”

“No idea,” Sam muttered, flipping over Death’s book.“Maybe—wait what?”Sam blinked and turned the page.“No… this can’t be right.”His brow furrowed and he turned another page, before he started rapidly flipping through the book.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked.

“It’s… blank.”

“Blank?What do mean blank?”Dean looked over Sam’s shoulder at the book.The pristine white pages were indeed completely empty.Dean’s heart sank.That book was their last chance at stopping Chuck and possibly reversing the damage he’d done.And it had turned out to be a bust. 

Out of the corner of his eye. Dean noticed that Jack still hadn’t moved.He was looking down at his hands, turning them over and periodically clenching his fists.“Jack?”Dean asked.“You ok there kid?”

Jack looked up with a start and dropped his hands.“I… think so?”He cocked his head to the side.“I actually feel… stronger somehow?”

“Stronger?” Sam looked up from the empty book.“Stronger how?”He lay the book face down on the table and moved closer to Jack.“Did this just happen?”

“I think so?” Jack leaned back a bit as Sam started looking him over.“When Michael killed Lucifer I felt… something.”He sighed.“I don’t know how to describe it but I could only vaguely sense Michael before and now I can pinpoint exactly where on Earth he is.”

“Weird…” Sam mused to himself as he continued to look Jack over.“Maybe it has something to do with Lucifer being your father?”

“He’s not my—“ Jack protested.

Sam ignored him and barreled forward.“No can’t be that.Lucifer already died in front of you once and nothing happened that time.So what’s different this time?”

A lightbulb went off in Dean’s head.“The plants,” he murmured.

Sam’s head whipped around.“Huh?”

“Back in Hastings,” Dean clarified.“There were a bunch of dead plants outside the diner.And they led me straight to Jack.”

Jack gasped.“That happened in the silo too!There was a weed and when I reached towards it, it withered and died.”

“Wait this has happened to you before?” Sam cut in.“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Everyone started disintegrating five minutes later,” Jack replied, curling in on himself.“I thought that was more important.”

Sam frowned.“We are going to have a long talk later about hiding potentially life threatening conditions,” he scolded.“But right now we need to figure out what’s causing this.”

“You think he’s absorbing things or something?”Dean asked. 

Sam looked lost in thought for a moment.“It makes sense if you think about it,” he mused.“Jack was totally powerless then some plants die and suddenly he can sense Michael.So Jack’s some kind of power vacuum now?”

“More like a black hole.” 

Sam raised an eyebrow. 

“You know, like stars,” Dean clarified.“Big enough star explodes, it collapses in on itself, creates a black hole, and starts sucking in everything around it.Jack turned himself into a bomb strong enough to kill _God_.The amount of energy unleashed when he went off has gotta be comparable.” 

Sam was looking at him like he’d grown a third head.

“What?” Dean asked defensively.“It was on an episode of Star Trek.”

Sam snorted.“And you call me a nerd.”

“Guys,” Jack cut in.“If you’re right, and I absorbed Lucifer’s power…Couldn’t I do the same to Chuck?”

Dean froze.Jack’s idea… It could work.But only if—“You think you’re strong enough to do that?”

Jack paused.“I don’t know,” he replied, shoulders slumping.After a moment, he straightened and snapped his fingers.“What about Michael?Maybe we could ask him to—“

“Michael absolutely cannot be trusted,” Dean interrupted.“He seemed… off after he killed Lucifer.So if we’re gonna do this, we gotta keep Michael in the dark.”He sighed.“But we’ve gotta tell him something.He’s gonna get suspicious if he notices us planning something behind his back.”

“He didn’t see the book.”

Dean looked over at Sam.“Huh?”

“Think about it.”Sam grabbed Death’s book from the table.“The book landed face down on the floor and Michael flew off before I could grab it.”He flipped over the tome. 

“Michael has no idea that the pages are blank.”

~~~

Dawn was just breaking over the lake when they pulled up to the shore.Michael was already there waiting for them.They quickly began setting up the components in three bowls circled around Death’s book and filled with an assortment of spell ingredients that Sam had collected from the bunker’s stores.Sam had told Michael that he’d found a spell that would kill Chuck and he’d seemed to be buying it.Any witch worth their salt would know that the ingredients Sam had thrown together wouldn’t do jack shit, but lucky for them, Michael was no witch.

Once the bowls were in place, Dean shared a look with Sam.“Let’s light it up,” he said, eyes darting towards Michael.Sam nodded and struck the matches against the box.Without hesitating, he threw them into the nearest bowl.All three bowls simultaneously fire, the flames an unnaturally bright blue, before a bright column of blue light shot out of each of them into the sky.

There was another flash of light, and the bowls were sent flying away from Death’s book.“Wait.What happened?” Dean looked down at the scattered spell components, then back up towards Sam.This was it, the final showdown they’d been planning for.But if this was going to work then they were really going to have to sell it.If they gave Michael or Chuck even the slightest reason to doubt what was going on, it would all fall apart.“What's wrong?”

Sam looked up from the failed spell and stiffened.Dean followed his gaze.Standing behind Michael was Chuck, carefully watching them all with a bemused smirk on his face.Without saying a word, Chuck lifted his hand and waved it, sending them both flying.Dean rolled a few times in the sandy dirt before he finally came to a stop. 

Dean lifted his head just in time to see Jack lunge towards Chuck and also get effortlessly thrown to the side.

Now Michael was the only one left standing.

“Father,” Michael said, solemnly.

“Son,“ Chuck replied, his tone just as emotionless.Michael smiled.Chuck took a step towards the ruined spell.“And, listen, I appreciate the heads-up about”—he gestured vaguely at the bowls—“all this.”

Dean resisted the urge to growl.He’d known that Michael was a daddy’s boy at heart and that it would’ve been a mistake to trust him, but a part of him had wanted to be wrong.Dean had managed to find his own way out from under his father’s influence, to become his own person, and he’s been holding out hope that Michael could do the same. 

But apparently Michael had never been interested in that.

“It’s always been my destiny to serve you,” Michael replied, bowing his head.

“Yeah…The thing is,” Chuck took another step towards Michael. “It's kind of late in the game.And you did side with the Winchesters,” he shook his head.“I can't forgive that.

The smile slid off of Michael’s face.He shook his head.“Father, no,” he pleaded, holding out his hands and taking a step back.“That was a lapse of judgment, I admit, but I swear I—”

“Save it!” Chuck cried out, his voice echoing with power.He threw out a hand, eyes glowing blue, and Michael staggered in place, arms still outstretched. 

Cracks appeared in Michael’s skin, leaking out blue light.Chuck’s expression never changed as the cracks got wider and wider, until Michael’s vessel—Adam’s former body—finally gave out and he exploded into nothing.Chuck turned his attention to the two of them as they staggered back to their feet. 

“And you two,” he groaned.“You know, eternal suffering sounds good on paper, but as a viewing experience, it's just kind of…” he grimaced, waving his hand in a so-so kind of gesture.“Meh.”His face hardened.“So we're done.I'm canceling your show.”

“Alright.”Sam took a step forward.“Well... one for the road.” He lashed out, fist connecting with Chuck’s face.Chuck’s head snapped to the side under the blow, but beyond that, he appeared to be unaffected.Sam shook out his hand.

Chuck smirked.“Cute.” Chuck threw out his hands, and Dean grunted as searing agony lit up his entire being.It felt like a vice was crushing him from the inside, even though Chuck wasn’t touching him.He fell to his knees.

Chuck held up a hand, presumably to deliver the snap that would end their existence, but then he paused.“Eh, what the heck.”Chuck lowered his hand and grinned.“I can get my hands dirty.”

The pain suddenly stopped, but Dean didn’t have a moment to appreciate it.Chuck punched Sam, sending him flying again, before he turned on Dean, backhanding him and following it up with a headbutt that sent Dean falling back on his ass.Every time they got back up, Chuck would knock them right back down.

“Fellas.”Chuck took a step back.“Give it up now.”

Dean threw another punch, that Chuck dodged with ease.He grabbed onto Dean’s arm and twisted, until something snapped.Dean cried out and fell back to the ground.Chuck turned his attention back to Sam and Dean heard his brother cry out over the sound of popping joints.Dean struggled to lift himself back up with his good arm, but a foot stomped down on his leg, effortlessly breaking that as well and Dean fell back down with another cry.

“Come on, guys. Just stay down.”Dean staggered back onto his feet, too disoriented to even fight back this time as Chuck punched him in the face. “That's enough, guys.”Another punch.“Guys, come on.”

Another punch sent him falling again. 

“Just stay down.”

Dean’s blood was staining his clothes, mixing with the long-dried handprint that still adorned the left shoulder of his jacket.But Dean wasn’t about to let Cas’s sacrifice be in vain.So he did his best to ignore the pain every time he lurched back up.

“Fellas, give it up.”

The blows just kept coming.Ribs cracked, and blood oozed down Dean’s face under the onslaught, but he ignored Chuck.  He would keep getting back up.As many times as it took to buy Jack the time he needed.Dean wasn’t going to fail here.Not this time.

“That's enough, guys,” Chuck insisted.But Dean ignored him.He pushed himself back up onto his knees.“Guys, come on. That's enough.”Chuck sounded frustrated now and Dean smiled, the gesture pulling at his bruised and bloodied face.

Sam looped his arm through Dean’s unbroken one and helped him up.Dean was leaning on his brother just as heavily as Sam was leaning on him but they stood together, united.Sam laughed.

“Why are you smiling?” Chuck snapped.

“Because.”Sam looked Chuck square in the eye and smiled.“You lose.”Sam’s gaze shifted to over Chuck’s shoulder, where Jack had pulled himself back to his feet.He laughed again.

Chuck turned slowly to face Jack, who was standing tall and uninjured.He looked Jack up and down.“Hey, Jack,” Chuck said, caution lacing his tone.He took a step towards Jack, clearly wary but also confused.

Jack calmly stared back at his grandfather as he approached.Chuck stopped about five feet away from Jack and lifted his hand. 

He snapped.

Nothing happened. 

Jack looked down at himself.He was still standing there, completely unharmed.Chuck looked down at his hand, then back to Jack, and snapped again. 

Still nothing.

Jack took a step forward and Chuck snapped again, and again, and again, clearly panicking as Jack drew closer.Jack reached out and grabbed Chuck’s face in his hands.Chuck made a choking noise.Bright tendrils of golden light began to snake their way up Chuck’s neck and over Jack’s hands, until Jack was glowing with an ethereal light.

After a few moments, Jack severed the connection with a twist of his hands and sent Chuck sprawling to the ground.

Silence fell over the lake. 

Jack was still glowing, eyes a vibrant gold.He slowly lifted one hand and snapped.The sound echoed over Dean like thunder and when he blinked, Dean noticed that all of the injuries Chuck had inflicted on him were gone.He shot a glance over at Sam, who was also now completely unharmed.

The glow slowly faded from Jack, until he looked just like he’d been before.Dean walked over to him and the fallen God.

Chuck lifted his head off the ground.“What—what did you do?”

Dean loomed over Chuck now.“We won.”

“So this is how it ends…” Chuck gasped, squinting up at the three of them.“My book?”

“See for yourself,” Sam replied, tossing Death’s book onto the sand in front of him.

Check stared blankly at the empty pages.He reached out to turn a page, then another, and another, until he was frantically leafing through the blank white sheets of the tome.“There’s nothing there.”

“Oh there is.”Chuck’s head snapped up to look at Sam, hands freezing on the now crumpled pages.“But only Death can read it.”

“That’s right,” Dean cut in.“So we had to come up with a Plan B.That wasn’t too hard though.” 

And so Dean and Sam told him about everything: about discovering Jack’s new ability, realizing that Death’s book was blank, and deceiving Michael into leading Chuck right to his doom.They spared Chuck no detail—save for a few private conversations that he had no right to.

And Chuck… He just lay there in the sand, staring out into the distance in shocked silence as their words washed over him.

By the time they had finished, a smile had stretched across the former God’s face.“This…” Chuck stuttered as he began to poke the sand beneath him repeatedly, “This is why you’re my favorites.”He paused.“You know, for the first time I have no idea what happens next.Is this where you kill me?I mean I could never think of an ending where I lose.But this… after everything that I’ve done to you.To die, at the hands of Sam Winchester… of Dean Winchester, the ultimate killer.” 

Dean spared a glance over in Sam’s direction.

“It’s kind of glorious,” Chuck continued, completely oblivious. 

Dean paused.Wasn’t this what they had been trying to accomplish ever since Chuck had left them in that graveyard to die?Kill God to earn the right to finally write their own story.It would be almost laughably easy to do now.No need for any silver or obscure spell components or some rare blade that only an archangel could properly wield.Chuck was just as mortal as they were now.Human.It would only take a simple twist, and it would all be over, forever.Besides, that’s what he was.A killer.Just like Chuck said.

_No,_ a voice in the back of his head said firmly, interrupting that train of thought. _That isn’t who you are._ The little voice sounded familiar; it reminded him of another voice, one that had expressed a similar sentiment not so long ago.

_I know how you see yourself, Dean.You see yourself the same way our enemies see you.You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken.You're_ “ _daddy's blunt instrument.”And you think that hate and anger, that's...That's what drives you, that's who you are.It's not._

_Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know._

At one point in his life, Dean may have been a mindless killer, trained in the ways of his father’s ruthless efficiency, but that’s not who he was any more.It hadn’t been for a long time now.Cas wasn’t the only one who’d changed along the way.And Dean wasn’t going to prove him wrong now.

He took a step forward.“Sorry Chuck”

Chuck flinched as Dean took another step closer, but he just kept walking, right past Chuck, towards his car.

“Wha—What?”He stopped and turned back to look down at Chuck.

“See that’s not who I am,” Dean stated.“That’s not who we are.”

“Wha—What kind of an ending is this?” Chuck shot back.

Sam looked over at Jack.“His power…” he began.“You sure it won’t come back?”

“It’s not his power anymore.”There was an air of finality to Jack’s tone.

Sam looked back down at Chuck.“Then I think it’s the ending where you’re just like us,” he replied.“And like all the other humans you forgot about.”

“It’s the ending where you grow old,” Dean cut in, “you get sick, and you just die.”

Sam jumped back in to finish, “And no one cares.And no one remembers you.You’re just… forgotten.”

The sand crunched under their feet as they turned, one by one, and walked back towards the car.

“Guys…” Chuck whispered, as he struggled to stand back up.“Guys, wait…”

But none of them paid him any mind.Dean slid into the drivers seat and the door slammed shut like an old, heavy research tome at the end of a case.The engine started with a roar.The low rumble of her engine was just loud enough to drown out any further begging from Chuck.Dean backed up, executing the three point turn with a practiced ease— while completely ignoring the sniveling former God scrabbling in the dirt behind them—and drove away from the lakefront. 

That chapter of his life was finally over.It was time to start a new one.

~~~

They drove in complete silence all the way back into town.Dean pulled off of the main road onto a nearby side street, and cut the engine.Now came the most important part of this whole plan.Sure, taking down Chuck had been the main part of the plan, but it wouldn’t mean jack shit if they couldn’t undo all the damage he’d done to the world. 

Dean took one last look at the abandoned town around them as they piled out of the car.“All right kid.”He looked over at Jack.“You really think you can pull this off?”

Jack didn’t reply.He just closed his eyes, took a deep breath in, and, as he slowly let that breath out, the world around them exploded back into sound. 

At the diner across the street, a waitress was setting down plates of food for one of the tables on the patio.A group of teenagers sped past on bikes, just missing Dean’s foot as he jumped out of their way.All around them people were carrying on with their lives.Like they’d never disappeared to begin with.

“So that’s it then?” Sam asked cautiously.He watched the people walking on the nearby sidewalk for a moment.“Everyone’s back now?Just like that?”

Jack nodded. 

“And Eileen…?” 

Jack nodded once more, as a genuine smile stretched across his face.“She should still be at home, though,” he cocked his head to the side, “she’s probably a bit concerned over the messages you last sent her.”

Sam slapped his hand on his jacket pocket before quickly pulling out his phone.He took one look at the lit up screen and all of the tension drained from his shoulders.“Oh thank god it’s Eileen,” he breathed out.“Give me a second to just…”Sam trailed off as he tapped on the screen and held the phone up in front of his face.“Hey Eileen!Sorry,” Sam moved his free hand to his chest and moved his fist in a clockwise circle.“I know, let me fill you in…”

Dean watched as Sam walked further down the street.“Ya did good kid,” he said, firmly patting Jack on the shoulder.“You did good.”Even though he was too far away to hear what Sam was saying, Dean kept an eye on him.The change in his brother was apparent.After they’d found Eileen’s phone and bag outside of her place, Sam had all but shut down emotionally.Not that Dean had any room to talk.He’d done the exact same thing after…

“Hey, Jack...”Dean’s fingers tightened their grip on Jack’s jacket.“When Sam said everybody... Does that mean...?”

Jack’s eyes flickered down to Dean’s shoulder then back up to his face.His expression fell.“I don’t know,” he whispered.“Dean, I tried, but the Empty.It had such a strong grip on him and I... I don’t know if it worked.”

Dean’s heart plummeted.He should have known.They’d stopped Chuck and brought back everyone that he’d dusted.It was a major win, for them and for the world.But if he’d learned anything in his life, it was that a major victory always had a major catch...

“Dean I’m _so_ sorry, I did everything I could, really I did.” Jack was stammering now, trying to pull away from him but still held fast by Dean’s grip on his coat.

“Hey, Jack, no.”He tightened his grip on Jack’s shoulder and pulled him into a hug that would probably be considered bone crushing to a normal human.“It’s ok kid. I know.”

At those words Jack stopped struggling.Like a puppet who’s strings’d been cut, he sagged against Dean and wrapped his arms around him to return the embrace.“It’s all my fault,” Jack sniffed.His hands clutched at Dean’s jacket, no longer trying to escape but now desperately trying to hold on to what little family he had left.“It’s always my fault and just this once I... I wanted to…"He hiccuped.“I wanted to fix it.”

Dean froze.It would be so easy to lay all the blame on him.Cas had made that deal to save him after all. But no... That wouldn’t be fair to Jack.It wasn’t like Jack had asked for him to do it, but Cas, in true Winchester fashion, had offered himself up without hesitation to save his family.

“It’s not your fault.”Dean tightened his grip on Jack, who buried his face into his neck.“Cas made the decision to save you.Because you’re his kid—our kid—and that’s what parents do for their kids.They make sacrifices.”

“But I didn’t ask for that!”Jack burst out.“I’m the reason he died in the first place and I thought that when he came back everything would be ok... but then he…he…”Jack trailed off with a low, miserable whine.

“I know Jack, I know.”Dean slowly rubbed a hand up and down Jack’s back as Jack let out another sniffle.“And it sucks, when you’re the one left behind.And I won’t lie to you, it’s going to suck for a long time to come.But, even though we’ve been left behind to pick up the pieces, we’re still around to actually do that.And that’s all Cas wanted out of this.He’s at peace knowing that we still get to live our lives, even if he isn’t around anymore to see it.Understand?”

Jack nodded against his shoulder.Once again Dean was reminded of just how young Jack really was.He was barely even three years old and he’d already died twice and had to deal with the death of his parents three times over.And Dean had done nothing but stand by and watch as the kid tried to navigate through more loss than most people would experience in a decade.But that was going to change now.He was going to be there for him, no matter how painful it might be.He owed Cas that much.

“So Eileen’s doing fine,” Sam suddenly cut in.Jack flinched against Dean’s neck and Dean gave him one last squeeze before he let him go and took a step back.Sam shot them both a look of concern.“Is everything ok?”

Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly.“No,” he said simply.After a pause he looked back up at Sam.“But I think it will be.Eventually.”

“Ok...”Sam didn’t look convinced but he let it go.“Anyway, Eileen said she’d meet us back at the bunker.So are we ready to go?”

“Almost,” Jack replied.“There’s just one more thing I need to do.”He closed his eyes as a bright glow began to overtake his body.

“Jack?”Dean took a step forward but stopped to shield his eyes as the light began to hurt.“JACK!”

A few seconds later the light dimmed, leaving Dean with spots in his vision that he quickly blinked to clear away. 

Jack was no longer standing in the street by himself.Next to him was a familiar figure, dressed in a loose grey pantsuit.The woman flicked a lock of her brown hair out of her face and stared Jack down.

Sam was the first to speak. _“Amara?”_

Amara paid them no mind, fixing her gaze firmly on Jack.“Jack.”She narrowed her eyes.“Are you sure about this?”

“Wha—“Sam sputtered.“Sure about what?”

Jack nodded, apparently following Amara’s lead and ignoring the both of them.“Absolutely.”

“Hold the phone.”Dean took a step forward, inserting himself between the two of them.Let them try ignoring him now.“What are you talking about?”He asked Amara before he turned his head to look back at Jack.“What did you do?”

“He gave it up.”Amara replied, her voice barely above a reverent whisper.

Dean whipped his head back around to stare down Amara.“What?”

“I would make a terrible God,” Jack cut in.Dean turned back to look at the kid, but he had ducked his head down to avoid looking him in the eye.“I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of,” Jack continued.“I’ve hurt people, and killed others—accidentally—because I couldn’t control the power I was born with.I just don’t trust my ability to handle this kind of responsibility.And I don’t want to become another God on a power trip that you have to take down.”

“And you trust _Amara_ with this?” Dean protested.He froze, his gaze darting back toward the entity in question.“Um, no offense.”

Thankfully, she didn’t look offended.In fact, she chuckled.“None taken,” she replied. Her expression quickly melted back into a look of concern as she focused her attention back on Jack though.“I would actually agree with him.Are you sure I’m the right choice?After all, I’ve never exactly _created_ anything before.Only destroyed.”

“I think you’ll do great,” Jack replied tilting his chin up with a smile.

“And how do you know that I won’t eventually become, to quote you, another God on a power trip?”

“Because you’re not him.” Jack’s expression turned serious once more.“You both spent time here on Earth, among humans.All Chuck saw was everything he had done wrong, but you… sure you saw the bad, but you also saw all the good.Darkness and Light, in balance.”

“But we tried balance,” Amara pointed out.“And you saw how that turned out.”

Jack tilted his head to the side and squinted at Amara.“You know that’s not what actually happened.You may have been in one body and it may have been your power that made everyone disappear, but we both know that Chuck was the only one making decisions.But, with you, I know that true balance is possible.”

“I’m not sure if I believe that last statement…” Amara trailed off, her eyes took on a far away look, as if she was considering Jack’s words carefully.After a moment, her focus snapped back to Jack’s face.“But there is one thing you said that is absolutely true.I am _nothing_ like my brother.”

“I’d say that’s a plus in my book,” Dean cut in.“You can’t be worse than a God with a writer complex.”

Amara still looked troubled, but she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.“Well then…If I’m going to do this, then I’m going to have my work cut out for me.My brother was far from perfect.He favored making things that were ‘narratively interesting’ over things that made logical sense.And even then I don’t know what he was thinking when it came to the platypus…”Amara blinked.“Anyway, because of that, the structure of a lot of things, Heaven in particular, leaves a lot to be desired.Honestly, I’m surprised it’s still functioning.”

Dean snorted.“You don’t know the half of it.”

“Which means that I should go.”Amara sighed.“It’s not going to fix itself and Heaven as it stands is barely holding everything together.”

“Wait what’s wrong with Heaven?” Sam asked.

“Heaven needs a certain number of angels to function.But their numbers have been dwindling rapidly over the years.” Amara tilted her head, lost in thought for a moment. “I might need to make more angels, but I can think of a few changes that’ll require fewer numbers to keep it running.”

“Like what?” Sam asked, looking genuinely curious.Leave it to Sam to nerd out over things like the structure and operation of freaking Heaven...

“Well for starters, having an individualized Heaven for each human soul was a fine idea back when there were only a couple thousand of them, but it really doesn’t scale well after a few millennia.”Amara blinked.“But, ah, this isn’t really the sort of conversation to have with humans.”

Sam looked legitimately crestfallen.

“But don’t worry,” Amara assured him.“You’ll see the changes for yourself eventually.Though,” she looked over at Dean then back to Sam, “I’d better not see either of you up there for a while.”

“Hey, we freakin’ beat God,” Dean joked.“I’d like to at least live long enough to enjoy it.”

Amara’s gaze flitted over Dean’s shoulder, towards where Jack was standing.“I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”

The four of them stood in awkward silence for a few moments.Sam clearly looked like he had a million more questions that he was unsure how to ask.But before he could ask a single one, Amara nodded her head—a clear goodbye—and turned to walk down the street, across the town’s main road. A red car drove past and by the time it had cleared the intersection, Amara had disappeared. 

Sam sighed, clearly put out that he missed his chance to ask a thousand nerd questions.But after a moment of pouting he straightened up and nudged Dean’s shoulder. “We should get going too.”

“Yeah, yeah I know you’re impatient.” Dean swatted back at him.“But what about all the people you left behind in the doomsday bunker?They all ok?”

“Yeah I got a text from Donna while I was on the phone with Eileen.They’re packing up now.So can we go?It’s a long drive back to the bunker.”

“I’m going, Sam, I’m going,” Dean grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking back to the car.“Don’t get your panties in a twist.Eileen’ll still be there when we get back.”

~~~

The drive back to the bunker was quiet, from a conversational stand point at least.As soon as they had al piled back into the car, Dean had thrown the Zeppelin II cassette into the player and cranked the volume high enough that he didn’t have to hear himself think. But the thoughts still managed to worm their way through his brain in the moments of silence between sides of the tape.

Jack had tried to bring Cas back but he wasn’t sure if he’d succeeded.Which meant that there were one of two possible scenarios waiting for them back at the bunker.Either Cas would be there waiting for their return… or he wouldn’t.And it was that second possibility that was making his thoughts run around in circles in his head.

The drive from Hastings back to the bunker was only nine hours, but it was somehow the longest nine hours of Dean’s life.By the time they rolled up into the bunker’s garage, Dean felt like he was about to crawl out of his skin.Eileen had pulled her car in behind them and while Sam practically threw himself out of the car to get to her, Dean’s legs propelled him in a different direction.

“Cas?” Dean called out as he flung open the door to the dungeon. 

Silence.

No big deal, it had been over nine hours since Jack had brought everyone back.It was dumb of him to assume that Cas would wait around in the dungeon when there were more obvious places.Dean took off towards the library, blowing past Jack in the hallway.

“CAS?”His voice echoed through the empty room.The war room and kitchen were similarly abandoned.

Dean swept through the bunker, checking every single room he’d ever seen Cas in—and some that Cas may not even know existed—until there was just one room left.

Cas’s room.

It was just a few doors down from Dean’s room; far enough away to give Cas some space, but close enough that Dean could hear when he came and went.Dean paused when he reached the door, taking a moment to rest his forehead against the wood.

This was it.His last hope.

The door swung open on silent hinges.“…Cas?”Dean called out carefully.

Silence.

After reluctantly kicking Cas out of the bunker once, Dean had made sure that Cas had his own room, as a way of showing him that he was welcome here and he always would be.But, since Cas had never been much for material possessions and he didn’t sleep, he hadn’t actually used it much beyond the time he’d spent recovering from Rowena’s spellwork a few years back.Therefore, Cas’s room lacked the personal touches that Sam and Dean’s rooms had; there were no pictures hanging on the wall, no little knick-knacks on the shelves.

So, when Dean opened the door, Cas’s empty room looked no different from the day they’d first found the bunker.

As if Cas had never even existed to begin with.

~~~

The weeks that followed passed in a blur.Dean’d never had the best relationship with sleep.Forty years in Hell, a stint as an archangel’s meat puppet, and the deaths of nearly every person he’d ever loved had left him with a nearly inexhaustible supply of nightmare fuel.He’d learned how to deal with it over the years, to power through his required four hours and move on with his day.But now he couldn’t even close his eyes without being haunted by a flash of tan or tear-filled blue eyes. 

He could see the concern in Sam’s eyes when he reached for yet another cup of coffee.The words on the page in front of him were starting to blur together, a sign that he needed more caffeine.Sam sighed and closed the book he’d been slowly flipping through. 

“Looks like this one’s a bust too,” he groaned, rubbing his eyes.“Plenty of info about angels—some of it laughably inaccurate, like who’s ever heard of ‘unholy water’—but zero mention of the Empty or how to access it.”

“Are you sure?”Dean held out a hand.“Lemme take a look.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Did you learn to read Latin at some point when I wasn’t looking?” he snarked.

“I can figure it out,” Dean replied defensively.Sam continued to stare him down.“Just give me the book, Sam.”

“Tu es enim dolor in asinum, Dean.”

“Gesundheit.”

Sam looked unimpressed.“Dude.We’ve been at this for weeks now, and we haven’t found shit.We’re scraping the bottom of the bunker’s barrel at this point.”

“There’s gotta be something around here somewhere.”

“And what if there isn’t, Dean?” Sam asked.“Then what?”

“Then we keep looking.Ketch mentioned once that this was a Men of Letter’s bunker, not the bunker.That means there’s more of them out there somewhere.Maybe one of them has the information we need.”

“Dean.” Sam ran a hand down his face and sighed.“We have no idea where to even begin looking for another bunker.”

“Well it’s gotta be somewhere, right?”

A shadow fell over Sam’s expression.“So what is this all we’re going to do with the rest of our lives?Scour the earth for a way to get Cas back?”

“If that’s what it takes, then yeah.”

“Cas made his choice, Dean.We’re allowed to mourn him, but we can’t keep doing this.”He tilted his head towards the nearby table, where Jack had set up to read his assigned tome and accidentally fallen asleep atop the weathered pages.“We can’t keep getting Jack’s hopes up every time we find the word ‘empty’ in some old Latin text only to let him down again when it turns out to be nothing.And you’re not holding up any better.”

“We can’t just give up!” Dean exploded.Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jack jerk upright, but he kept his gaze on Sam.“Cas is family and we don’t give up on family.”

“We give up on family all the time!” Sam shot back.“Neither of us ever tried to bring Dad back after he died and I didn’t see you scouring the globe after I got locked in the cage.It was a futile effort.We accepted that and moved on with our lives.So why is this any different?”

Dean slammed his hand down on the table.“Because I didn’t say it back!”

The silence that fell over the library was deafening.“What do you mean, say it back?” Sam asked slowly.Dean’s mouth snapped shut, and, evidently, his silence was even more damning than any flimsy excuse he could have thrown out there, because Sam’s expression quickly morphed into concern.“Dean, say what back?What did Cas say to you?”

Dean’s first instinct is to lie.Make something up that’s believable enough to appease Sam.He’s been incredibly vague ever since he arrived in Hastings with a bloody handprint imprinted on his shoulder.All he’d said was that Cas had sacrificed himself.And Sam, bless him, seemed to sense how much Dean did _not_ want to talk about it and hadn’t pried.

But he’s kept everything bottled up for weeks now and the walls he’s erected to keep the storm at bay are starting to crumble. 

And so, instead of bullshitting his way through another half-baked lie, Dean slumped back in his chair with a sigh.“Cas… He made a deal, last year, after Jack died.The Empty wanted Jack and Cas offered himself up in his place.”Dean heard the sound of paper being crumpled off in Jack’s general direction.

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed.“But they both came back.So what happened?”

“Yeah, well, it turns out that the Empty is kind of a dick.Cas told me that it would come to collect when he experienced a moment of true happiness.Which”—Dean cut himself off with a humorless laugh—“how fucked up are our lives that Cas made it that long without being happy?” 

He paused and looked at Sam, but, when he didn’t take the bait, Dean sighed and continued.“Billie had us cornered.We’d locked ourselves in the dungeon but the warding wasn’t gonna hold long enough.And Cas, being the smart son of a bitch that he is, realized that the Empty was probably pretty pissed at Billie for the whole stunt she pulled with Jack.So he summoned the Empty the only way he knew how.”

“Dean,” Sam whispered.There was something in his eyes that looked too close to pity for Dean’s comfort.“What did he say to you?”

“He…” Dean’s vision was blurring again, but the trail of wetness that ran down his face informed him that it wasn’t from eye strain this time.“He told me he loved me.A-and I was so blindsided by everything that was going on that I… I couldn’t…I didn’t…” 

Even now, he couldn’t say it. 

There was no mistaking it now, the look in Sam’s eyes was definitely pity. 

Sam opened his mouth, probably to spout some bullshit that was supposed to be comforting, but he was cut off by the sound of a chair loudly scraping against the wood floor.Dean barely turned his head in time to catch Jack sprinting from the room.

“Shit,” Dean groaned, rubbing a hand down his face.This is why he hadn’t wanted to talk about what had happened in the dungeon.Jack’s emotional state was fragile at the best of times and the last thing he’d wanted was to upset the kid.But is seemed like ‘upsetting the kid’ was the only thing he was good at these days. 

Dean sighed.Cas would know what to do.But, then again, if Cas was here, none of their current problems would exist in the first place. 

“…Should I go talk to Jack?” Sam asked tentatively.

“Think we should probably give him some space for a bit.Looked like he wanted to be alone.”At least that’s what Dean would have wanted if he was in Jack’s situation, and the kid had proven himself to be a Winchester through and through over the years.

Sam, meanwhile, looked like he wanted to argue.His face went through a complicated series of emotions before it settled on something more neutral.“Fine,” he grumbled.“But I am going to talk to him later.It’s not your fault and he shouldn’t be blaming you.”

“I mean isn’t it at least a little bit my fault?I was the one who decided to go after Billie.”

“Absolutely not.” Sam glared at him.“Even if you’d left Billie alone, something would have happened eventually

“I doubt it.You shoulda heard him Sam.Dude was absolutely convinced that me”—Dean waved his hand around vaguely—“you know… that it was completely impossible.”

Sam barked out a laugh.“Trust me, he would have figured it out eventually.You weren’t exactly subtle dude.”

“W-What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean coughed, choking on his own spit.

“Let’s just say that, with all the eye-fucking I’ve been forced to witness over the years, I’m surprised that Jack was your first kid.”

“We weren’t— That wasn’t—“

Sam’s smirk was infuriating.

“Whatever, bitch,” Dean grumbled.There was no heat to the familiar insult.

Sam smirk deepened into an actual smile. “All right, jerk.”

They continued to work in silence, until Dean reached the end of his book.“He doesn’t actually blame me you know,”he said quietly as he closed the book.

Sam looked up with a start.“What?”

“Jack,” Dean clarified.“He doesn’t blame me, he blames himself.”

Sam’s brows furrowed.“Wait, he told you that?”

“Yeah, after everyone disappeared.Said Cas made the deal to save him from the Empty after he died the first time last year.I told him that it wasn’t his fault, but you know telling him that and getting him to actually believe it are two very different beasts.”

Sam snorted.“Like either of us have any room to talk.”

“Yeah we Winchesters are just the poster children for survivor’s guilt aren’t we?”There was no humor in Dean’s voice.They’d lost a lot of people, a lot of _family_ , to get to where they were now.Too many people had gotten caught up in the mess that was their lives and paid the price. 

Sam’s face softened.“I’ll talk to him later, ok?I’m not as close to this so maybe he’ll listen to me.”

Dean nodded.Sam had welcomed Jack with open arms from the beginning.But Dean hadn’t.So Jack had always felt like he needed to earn Dean’s love and acceptance.So of course he wouldn’t believe that Dean didn’t blame him.And that was entirely Dean’s fault, but if anyone besides Cas could get through to Jack, it was Sam.

Dean cleared his throat and pushed back his chair.He suddenly wanted nothing more than to be alone for a while.“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.What do you say we call it for the night and take another stab at it in the morning with fresh eyes?”

~~~

_“C ome on, Cas we gotta go!”Dean called out.The portal behind him was rippling; Benny had said it wouldn’t stay open for long.Cas knew they didn’t have much time so why was he slowing down?_

_“ Keep going,” Cas called out, gesturing towards the open portal. “ I’m right behind you.”_

_Something about this felt familiar..._

_“ Dean, go!” Cas yelled. _

_Reluctantly, Dean turned back around and began climbing up the rocky incline.The portal was almost within reach now.Once he made it past through rocks to the dirt that led to the portal, Dean turned back to give Cas a hand up._

_The hard part was over now.All they had to do now was run straight through the portal and they ’ d be home. _

_“ Almost there Cas, come on!”Dean took off sprinting towards the portal. _

_Everything was fine, they were going to make it._

_Dean was halfway through the portal when he finally turned to look back.Cas was ten feet behind him but he ’ d just.Stopped. _

_“ Dean.” The tone of Cas’s voice sounded... mournful. _

_“ No, Cas!” Dean yelled out over the wind whipping around the portal. “Come on you’re almost there!”He threw out a hand. _

_Cas started at him, his gaze alternating between his face and his outstretched hand.He took a small step back,_

_“Cas… please,” Dean choked out.He couldn’t lose him, not again._

_The wind was howling around him now; there was no way that Cas could have heard his desperate plea.But the agony Dean was feeling must have shown on his face because suddenly Cas ’s expression hardened, morphing from anguished indecision to determination.He took step forward. _

_Before Cas could move any closer, however, the silver tip of an angel blade erupted through his chest._

_“ CAS!” _

_Cas staggered in place, clutching at the gaping hole in his chest that was left behind as the sword slid back out of him.Standing behind him now was Lucifer, still holding the blood-soaked blade and grinning maniacally at Dean._

_“ No, no, no, Cas!Hold on I’m coming!”Dean tried to run back, screw getting back to earth, Cas was the only thing that mattered right now.But his legs were no longer listening to his brain.He stayed rooted in place, watching in horror as bright, bluish light began to fill Cas’s eyes and pour out of his mouth. _

_Just as the light began to burn his eyes, the portal slammed shut around him._

_Dean blinked._

_His first thought was that the light had actually burned his eyes out of his head.How fitting that the last thing he ever saw was Cas…He didn’t want to think about it.With shaking hands, Dean felt around his face.But nothing was wrong with him: there was no charred flesh around his eyes and his eyelids and eyeballs appeared to be completely intact._

_There was just... nothing to see._

_No up, no down, just never-ending darkness._

_“C as?” Dean called out tentatively.His voice sounded far away even to his own ears. _

_Silence._

_“ Cas?!”Louder this time, but just barely. _

_“ You failed him.”Dean jumped at the sound of another voice, coming from every nonexistent direction at once.It sounded familiar. Almost like Cas, but… not. _

_Something rushed towards him, completely invisible in the inky blackness.Dean tried to run, but with no way to get his bearings, he ended up running head first into the darkness closing in._

_“ You failed him,” the voice repeated, as the tar-like substance surrounding him filled Dean’s nose.It sounded more feminine now but somehow Dean knew it was the same person. “And now he’s mine. Forever.”_

_Dean tried to scream, but the ooze effortlessly flowed into his open mouth, sliding down his throat._

_He couldn ’t breathe. _

_He couldn’t..._

Dean woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed as he was violently thrust into consciousness. He rubbed his hands over his face.

Just a dream. 

The nightmare wasn’t anything new; his brain had taken to mashing together every way he’d lost Cas over the years every time he tried to sleep.The part at the end with what might have been the Empty was new though.And extremely unsettling.In fact, just thinking about it was making him feel claustrophobic.

Dean threw off the covers and padded over to the sink.Normally after one of these nightmares, Dean would calm down by drinking a a glass or three of whiskey, but he’d finished off the last of the supply in his room last night and, somehow, Sam always _knew_ when he snuck out of his room in the middle of the night to drink.He didn’t feel like dealing with the judgement that would ensue in the morning, so water would have to do.

He leaned against the sink as he took a sip from the glass he kept in his room.The water tasted faintly of the Jack Daniels he’d put in the glass the night before, which was… kind of gross actually.With a sigh, he dumped the rest of the water down the drain.So much for that. 

Dean checked the clock next to his bed.It was only a little after four in the morning, but he was wide awake.Sam wouldn’t wake up for his morning run for at least another hour, but this was still a reasonable hour to start the day, right?

He sighed.No, it absolutely was not.Only heathens and insomniacs were up at this hour, but apparently he was a part of the latter group now.No problem.He could find something productive to do while he waited for Sam and Jack to wake up.He’d found a recipe for cinnamon rolls in the bunker’s archives a few months ago and Jack had never had them before, so maybe he could finally get around to making them.Kid had a massive sweet tooth so he’d probably love them.And he could get back to scouring the library while the dough was rising, so it was a win-win really.

Dean grabbed his robe from the back of a chair that he’d thrown it over when he’d gone to bed.Just because he was officially up for the day didn’t mean he had to get dressed just yet. 

Slipping out of his room and into the hall, Dean was relived to find it deserted.Not that he expected to find anyone, but Jack’s sleeping patterns were an absolute mystery to everyone but Jack himself. 

He took two steps down the hall towards the kitchen before his sleep deprived brain finally informed him that something was wrong with the hallway.Dean flipped back around.Sure enough, the door of the bedroom next to his was ajar. 

Cas’s room.

Dean sighed.He should have seen this coming, to be honest.He’d found Jack crying in there multiple times and after the incident this evening in the library, Jack’s presence in Cas’s room was almost a guarantee.He ducked back into his room to grab the box of tissues he kept next to his bed.If the past was any indication, he was going to need them.

“Jack, kid, you can’t keep doing this,” Dean began as he slowly eased his way into the room.“It’s not heal—”he was only halfway through the doorway when he finally got a good look at the person in the middle of the room“—thy….”

It wasn’t Jack standing there.

“...Cas?”Dean blinked.Jack had tried to bring Cas back, but he’d failed.So it couldn’t actually be him standing there...Could it?

The Cas standing next the the open desk drawer was staring back at him with wide, panicked eyes.“Dean... I—”

And that was all it took.The box of tissues in his hand fell to the floor with a thump and he launched himself at the figure standing in front of him.He wasn’t sure what he expected to happen when he collided with him.Hell, he half expected to go right through him; that the angel was nothing more than a ghost: a hallucination supplied by his exhausted mind or one last middle finger from Chuck. 

But it didn’t matter. 

He’d take what he could get at this point.

But no, Dean slammed into Cas: he was solid, he was real, and Dean clung to him with the desperation of a man who’s, well, who’s just discovered that the love of his life’s come back from the dead.Dean pulled back, letting Cas go for just a moment before grabbing ahold of his shoulder.The touch grounded him, a physical reminder that, somehow, Cas was here.

It seemed to have to opposite effect on Cas, however.His shoulders tightened, hiking up even higher.

“Cas?” Dean let his hand drop, and Cas’s shoulders lowered slightly, not fully relaxed but still looser than before.Dean tried to ignore the stab of pain that lanced through his heart.

“Dean,” Cas began.“I’m sorry.I was trying to be quiet, but I can’t find what I was looking for.But as soon as I find it I promise I will leave.”

“Wait, wait, Cas, hold the phone.”Dean held up a hand.“Leave?Whaddaya mean leave?And wait… What the hell were you even looking for in here?Last I checked, you weren’t the kind of guy who had, like, any possessions…”

Cas’s eyes darted back down to the open drawer.“It’s nothing of import, just a… tape.”

A tape?Most of the music Cas listened to in his truck was new enough to be on CD.In fact the only tape Dean knew of that Cas owned would be… the one currently sitting in the drawer next to his own bed…

“Wait, you mean the tape I made for you?”Cas flinched.

“As I said, it’s not of import, I can go without it.”Cas took a step towards the door.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Dean threw out a hand a sidestepped to block Cas’s path to the exit.“Hold your horses there Cas.You still haven’t explained why it is you think you gotta leave without even bothering to tell us that you were freaking alive.What the hell man?”

Cas was staring resolutely at his feet now.“I was going to leave a note…” he mumbled under his breath.He made an aborted gesture towards the desk and, yep, there was a folded up piece of paper sitting there.

“Dude.”

“What?”

“You can’t just come back from the dead and not let anyone know that you’re back.It’s a dick move.”Dean thought it had been painful to find out that Sam had been alive all those months he’d spent with Lisa and Ben, but the idea of Cas pulling a similar move was somehow even worse.

“Well, it’s not like I could tell you in person,” Cas snapped, thankfully cutting off that train of thought.“Not after our last conversation.I imagine I’ve made things rather awkward.”

“Dude,” Dean deadpanned.“We thought you were dead.The last thing any of us want is for you to leave.”

Cas blinked.“It was my understanding that humans to not tend to enjoy being around people who have feelings for them when said feelings are unrequited.”

Now it was Dean’s turn to blink dumbly at Cas.That’s why he wanted to leave?Because he thought...?

“Cas,” Dean said slowly.“Do you have any idea what it’s like, to be in love with someone for years but you can’t do anything about it?”Cas’s eyebrows furrowed and his opened his mouth, probably to argue knowing him, but Dean just kept plowing forward.“You can’t do anything about it so you shove it down somewhere and you try to ignore it.”

“Dean,” Cas looked frustrated now.“You don’t have to—“

“I’m not finished Cas,” Dean interrupted.Cas however, opened his mouth again to say something.“Please,” Dean pleaded.“Just let me finish.”

Cas’s mouth snapped shut, but he still looked suspicious.

Dean took another deep breath.“So you ignore it, and that works, for a while, but then something happens, they say something, and that little voice in the back of your head whispers ‘maybe’.But they can’t actually feel the same way you do, can they?And you ask yourself...” Dean paused, lifting his gaze to look Cas in the eyes.“Can angels even feel that way?”

Cas made a noise that sounded like he’d been punched in the gut.

“So, uh, yeah…”Dean finished lamely.“All that stuff you said before, about wanting what you know you can’t have?I, uh, I know the feeling.”

Dean’d had plenty of time over the past few weeks to think about what he would say if he managed to get Cas back.He tried to not think too hard about what Cas’s reaction to said words would be; there was no use getting his hopes up after all.But he was only human.His brain had supplied him with an entire spectrum of scenarios: Cas laughing in his face for misunderstanding what was clearly a platonic confession of love, a teary-eyed kiss, and more than one that ended in ways that made Dean glad that Jack wasn’t able to read minds, lest he scar the kid.However, none of these scenarios had Cas’s face clouding over with that wrath of heaven expression that Dean hadn’t seen in years. 

“Dean…” Cas growled.“Are you telling me… That we could have… This entire time?”

“When you say it like that it makes us sound like a coupla idiots…”

Cas’s eyes narrowed.He took a step forward, then another, and another until he had Dean backed up against the wall next to the door.“Then why did you never say anything?”

“Hey according to Sam, I wasn’t exactly subtle.I mean, come on man, I made you a friggin’ mixtape.Have you ever _seen_ an eighties movie?That’s, like, a classic move.So”—he poked Cas’s chest—“sounds like this one is on you.”

“Dean.” Cas rolled his eyes.“Shut up.”

“Why don’t you make me?” Dean replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

Cas’s eyes flitted down to his lips and then back up to his eyes.“Maybe I will.”

The confidence behind that statement absolutely did _not_ make Dean weak in the knees.

Dean didn’t have time to come up with a witty retort.Cas leaned in and pressed his lips against Dean’s, making good on his promise.Cas’s lips were warm and slightly chapped but absolutely alive against his own.Dean ran a hand through Cas’s hair and knotted his fingers in it, just to reassure himself once again that this was real, that he wasn’t going to wake up alone in his bed.

Cas groaned. 

Yep, Cas was still real and he was kissing him.

Holy shit Cas was kissing him.

Someone knocked on the door and Dean jerked back, smacking his head against the wall.

“Dean?” Jack called out from the other side of the door.“I thought I heard your voice but then it got kinda quiet.Are you ok?”

Dean blinked at Cas.Jack absolutely deserved to know that Cas was back, after weeks of finding the kid crying in his father’s old room, but the selfish part of Dean had been hoping to keep Cas to himself for a little while longer.With a particular focus on that most recent development…

The doorknob turned and Dean quickly shoved Cas away to a more respectable distance and pushed himself off the wall.Cas’s hair was more of a wreck than usual but there wasn’t any time to do anything about it.

“Dean what are you—“ Jack cut himself off with a gasp.His grip tightened on the doorknob.“…Cas?”

A soft smile spread across Cas’s face, an expression of fondness that often appeared on his face when it came to Jack.“Jack,” he replied, as he started to tear up.

Jack took a step back.“No, it can’t be…” Cas’s expression fell.“I…I tried to bring you back and I _failed,_ ” Jack continued, shaking his head.

“I know Jack.”Cas took another step closer to Jack and laid a hand on his shoulder.“I heard you.And I’ve been fighting my way back ever since.”

“But how?”

Cas chuckled.“Revenge isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.Let’s just say The Empty was not happy with the amount of noise I was making in retaliation.”

Jack laughed, the sound watery with unshed tears, and threw himself forward, wrapping his arms around Cas’s neck.Cas wound his arms around Jack’s torso and held on to Jack just as tight.Father and son were finally reunited.

A content smile slowly spread across Dean’s face as he watched Jack and Cas’s tearful reunion. Chuck had been defeated, Amara was rebuilding Heaven, and Dean finally had his family—the family he’d built—back together.

For the first time in his life, Dean felt like he was at peace.

Now he could finally carry on with his life.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of issues with the last couple episodes of Supernatural (some minor grievances with episode 19 and episode 20? what episode 20? lol). Since I am apparently fueled by spite, I tried my hand at writing what the finale could have been if it didn't disrespect every single character on this show. Looking at you rusty nail. 
> 
> I'm sorry it's been a month but apparently I'm still quite salty.


End file.
